The school I go to has a nice portfolio show where all the graduates get dressed up and try to land that dream job. I’m not sure if all art schools out there do this, but I know that mine does.

When I first came to the school, I thought this would be great. Now it is upon me and my only shot at connecting with any jobs here in Los Angeles is really tied to whether not the companies coming have connections in Seattle.

I worry about it because this is the rest of my life. I want to prove my parents wrong, especially my mom who seems to think that this whole four year venture was a real mistake for me. I want to show my sister that an education is something to be admired, and not thrown away.

I want to change the negatives into positives, but at the same time I feel that I’m letting everyone down by the way I have shaped my past and turned into this future that I write about.

I think that it’s just because I’m sitting here all alone and sick, while my wife works and makes the bread. Is this the dream? I’m two days away from leaving this expensive place, but I feel trapped by the things that I own. I have too much, I’m paranoid, I’m sick…I need another new routine. I think I’m addicted.

Help.