My ambitions at a young age were incredible. I wanted the world in front of me, and I wanted to be rich fast. I wasn’t willing to sit around and let things happen, I jumped at every chance, although some fleeting and empty. I was just looking to make a mark.

Who wouldn’t be?

I was being fed instruction and understanding at age 16 from Pastor’s and pulpits designed for adults, and I wasn’t there yet, but felt ready.

Now that I’m older, I realize how bad things could have gotten, had I kept going on the path of ultimate demise. I wasn’t on a collision course with drugs, or alcohol or vices that I couldn’t control, but more over the idea that I was invincible. I wasn’t of course and it was proved by a long seat-belt impression across my chest, the day after my accident.

I look back and wonder where my ambition has gone. I used to chase my dreams, and run with reckless abandon, not wondering what the consequences were. Now I am chasing the sustainability to be at peace with the decisions and processes in front of me.

It’s not a horrible thing, it’s just an odd play of sorts. I’m merely in act 2 of an 8 act play, each decade serving another act in a long winded journey for me to figure it all out.

I have that part done, now it’s a matter of coping with the heartache, and survive the humility that comes with being the person that I know I should be.

I’m trying my best.