I’ve lost my voice somehow. Sitting in the cold, and being rained on Monday wasn’t exactly the best of conditions for me to be in. I was fighting off a cold all week and this morning my voice became bad and now I can barely speak. I try and force it but very little of my voice comes out.

As I literally can’t speak very well right now, I feel that I’ve lost my voice in other areas too. (figuratively)

It’s not so much that I have lost my voice to say something, but more over no one wants to listen any longer. At this point what good is it to talk if everyone walks away, takes a phone call, or doesn’t trust your opinion.

I hate the way some people have jobs to do, then the come to me to give them advice on how to do their job. A janitor in a company doesn’t approach the tech workers asking how to mop. Likewise I don’t go and ask others about how to program code, I just do it. However, I’ve been dealing with people that are paid a wage to do a certain job, but they either don’t do it or they pretend to do it and then let things get bad before they implement their roles again. Not only that, what separates these types is their social standings. The more friends they have within the company the less likely they are to be fired. I know that some people prefer to be friends like that, but if you do, then you’re untouchable. You won’t get fired, you can’t get fired, you won’t be replaced because you’re FRIENDS!

I am replaceable, but hard to replace. But I will be replaced one day with a machine of a person that will say yes and continue to roll around on their segway.

I may have a million ideas but I’ve been leaving them inside a box. That box to be unleashed some day when I am appreciated for the talents that I have and am garnered a wage where my second job is no longer needed.

Oh yeah, I guess I never mentioned my second job. I spend 8 hours outside of my existing first job writing for various outlets. Whether it is for advertising companies, or newspapers, or simply blogging, I am spending a lot of time writing more and more, simply to make ends meet. I hear that things go in cycles, but I feel that I’ve been going through the hard times cycle in the finance department for the longest time. I want it to ease up, but it seems that it just tightens and tightens until I am forced to walk away and find greener pastures.

I’m holding on to hope though, because I hear remarks that suggest a regime change, but that’s just speculation.

I don’t ring the bells, I don’t squeak, I don’t say a word any longer. If the ship is burning down, I’m already prepared to float for a short time before corporate America picks me up as a free agent, and I have to put on a tie and get back into the cubicle lifestyle that I abhor.

Why?

Because too many times the failures mount up to a point where I don’t want to continue. I’ve been lied to. You have been lied to too. I was promised a lot, and received nothing, so I rolled the dice and lost it all.

So now I’m going to just collect the residuals and wait for the final curtain call or the syndication to run out.